Love is not Enough

kemarin siang gwe mencari kepastian tentang seberapa berartinya hidup ini... sampe mesti nyasar2 ke daerah kabupaten gitu!! Wekekekek... that is real??? i do not now.. find love is the hard way to find out..

Pernah ga merasa yakin klo Qta tuch pastinya org yg sangat kreatif, berwawasan luas, dan suatu hari bakal menciptakan sesuatu& sudah ditakdirkan akan selalu bekerja dan berada dilingkungan yg menyenangkan? gue ngerasa begitu.. sort of but then I realized that I am A loser
Worse than that a loser with a big head and a big mouth. there's no difference betwen this job here and there. the fact is i'm only a accounting not a very good one, Just average. and that's the only thing I can do.

gue bosen dianggap pinter & diharapkan. people expect too much from me. everything I do, everything I say are suposed to be great. This is my brain.. it's up to me what I'll do with it. it's up to me what i'd like to think about.

Apa masalahnya krn gue bosen sm gue sendiri???
Pekerjaan ganti tiap tahun, handphone ganti-ganti, rambut ganti-ganti model & warna, temen ganti, tapi semuanya ga ngebantu toh mgkn orgnya ga bisa diganti. skrg gue operasi plstik pun tetep bakal bosen krn gue tau gue ttp prg yg sama ( hahaha ).. kyk yg semua org takutkan juga, gue juga ga mau masa depan gue sejelas itu. tp skrg gue udah disini. I'm a accounting, bright career a head, but I dont want it. masalahnya lagi gue ga tau pingin jd apa dan kenyataanya itu gak mgkn diganti semudah ganti pekerjaan di perusahaan lain lagi. apa bedanya?

Klo rata2 umur manusia 70 thn, berarti gue msh punya 45 thn lg. gue mesti ngapain untuk menghabiskan 45 thn itu? Get married, have children, and live happily ever after?? BORING.. BORING..BORING..
Cowo gue slalu bilang Sayang cinta pengen married,, bla bla bla
gue juga sayang dia, tp sayang itu juga membosankan. emangnya mgkn gue sayang selama 45 thn? Sayang itu apa? Gue sayang nyokap gue paling2 juga karena tau itu yg harus gue rasakan. Just because she's my mother I'm supposed to love her.

Panjang ga sihhh those things got me boring... Mungkin gue bosen karena terus terusan bosen..